#i don’t know what to tag this art but i’m super proud of it

[whumpy-wyrms]

giving all your ocs the alien ikea plushie. shrinking two of them a little bit for basil and sasha

anton loves it so much he says thank u

[green-crocs12]

me and my friend were rewatching jujutsu kaisen and into like the 12th episode the gojo hyperfixation HIT.

[bitchlessdino]

put it in writing (m)

In collaboration with @camandemstudios Pairing: college student!seungkwan x Fem!TA!reader Genre: humor, smut Word count: 7.8k tags: college au, TA x student dynamic, push-and-pull, mentions of TXT's soobin, mentions of Ryan Gosling, a lot of fucking lying, explicit content, unprotected sex, hair pulling, cream pies, oral, cum-consumption, pet names (baby, good boy), praise kink Summary: You keep things professional--as you should--even if one of your students is someone you hooked up with one night before the college semester started. Meanwhile, Boo Seungkwan is anything but honest--he's a writer after all--but if he is honest about one thing, it's about wanting to write a new story with you. a/n: thank you @highvern @sluttyminghao and @strxwberry-skiess for beta reading <3 (late note: I wanna thank @gyuswhore @highvern and @haologram for the brainstorming if I forgot to mention anyone I’m sorry. They’ve been a really big help and we’re super motivating and supportive the entire process I love yall 💕)

You don’t go out. Period. As simple as that.

Until tonight. 

Summer is almost over, and once it ends, you’ll be Professor Yoo’s newest TA. You've worked hard to get to this point and despite the inevitable late-night grading sessions, you expect the experience to be rewarding and maybe even inspirational. You’re sure this achievement would make your academic-forward parents proud. Their daughter, at the top of her class, brimming with excitement and potential, jobs coming in from left and right, all while on her way to...a Writing degree. 

The one downside: they didn’t believe a writing degree would lead to anything substantial. Not like Biomedical engineering or Accounting. The one degree worse than Art. You almost forgot that writing was useless in their eyes because who couldn’t just pick up a pen and paper to scribble some words down?

You down another cheap shot of tequila, muttering your grievances under your breath as your friends revel in the club's pulsating atmosphere. They are only mildly concerned with your drinking habits, accustomed to your tightly wound, studious nature. Typically, you are the one buried in textbooks, rarely venturing into the party scene. Yet tonight, you surprise them all with your ironclad liver, effortlessly downing shots without a hint of a stumble.

“You, okay?”

You scoff, taking yet another shot, “Really depends what that means. ‘Okay’ as in life or ‘okay’ as in financially, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and-slash-or physically fulfilled with proud parents that love me unconditionally?”

“Oh, boy.” Hyeri tries to tear you away from any more alcohol and lays you flat against the back of the leather booth, twisting the top of a water bottle before putting it on your lips. “Let's get you hydrated, hmm? Can’t have you hungover the next day. I’ll be the one you’re complaining to.”

“Suffer my consequences!”

“Of course, darling.”

Hyeri, your steadfast friend since high school and now a new TA from another university, is like a sister to you. She knows your every habit and inclination, no matter how shit-faced you decide to get. “Don’t look, but there’s supple skin, high cheekbones, and a pretty smile looking directly at you.”

You subtly fix your gaze and accidentally meet the young man’s eyes as he nurses a highball glass between his lips. His eyes narrow back at you with interest. You muse back at him, mimicking his action with the water bottle in your grasp. As you drink with your eyes glued on his expression, the water passes over your lips, with the excess trickling suggestively down your chin and neck, your skin glistening in its sheen.

His lips part, dropping in a smug smile–and my, was it prettier than anticipated–and tilt his head as if quietly beckoning you closer. 

“I’m going over there.” 

Before you could get up from your booth, Hyeri is there to immediately tug you back down, eyes full of concern. “Are you sure, hon? You had quite a bit to drink.”

Your eyes crease as you smile back at her reassuringly. “I’ll be fine.”

“He looks young, he probably doesn't even know what a 401k is.”

“Do any of us?” You leave off before striding in the direction of the pretty boy, who still can’t keep his eyes off you.

You weave through the sea of sweaty bodies, sidestepping spilled drinks and the pulsating lights of the dance floor, your eyes locked on him. His gaze trails you with every step, a flicker of anticipation in his eyes, speaking to you like an incantation. When you finally reach his feet, the distance closing with each heartbeat, his smile grows wider, more inviting. The moment your legs brush against the softness of his leather couch, he leans to maintain your locked gaze, a now more playful glint in his eyes. Your smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “Is this seat taken?”

“Only by you if anyone else asks,” he smoothly responds.

You gently lower yourself beside him, lifting one leg to cross it over the other, feeling the cool leather beneath you. His eyes follow your every movement, lingering on the curve of your thigh as it presses against the other. You lean in slightly, your curiosity evident in the arch of your brow. “Why all alone? With a face as pretty as yours, I’d expect someone to be all over you by now.”

He shifts his body toward you, his eyes drinking in your appearance, savoring every detail from the whip of your hair and to glitter on your legs. Meanwhile, the subtle spicy sweet scent of his cologne mingles with the ambient aromas of the club, and you can’t even breathe the air without the desire to jump his bones. Especially one in particular.

He regains his smile, a slow, confident curve of his lips, and extends a hand toward you. “I could say the same for you. I’m Seungkwan.”

You take his hand, feeling the warmth of his touch and the gentle caress of his thumb against your knuckles. With a graceful nod, you gave him a firm handshake. You return the gesture by introducing yourself, your voice smooth and inviting, matching the rhythm of the music that pulses around you, and that seems to only grow his interest. “What a pretty name. You’ve been here long?”

“Just long enough,” you say, your voice carrying a playful challenge.

“What is it that someone like you does to want to let loose in a place like this?”

“Mmh, I don’t know. It really depends on how much you’re willing to share,” you reply, narrowing your eyes and taking in that body begging to be undressed.

“Well, if you must know, I work somewhere…uncommon,” he says, leaning closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

You lean in too, resting your elbow on the back of the couch and propping your chin on your hand, your fingers lightly brushing your lips. “Do tell, Seungkwan.”

“Don’t be surprised, but I’m a bit of a big deal, especially around here,” he brags.

You raise an eyebrow, ready to bite. “That’s very vague. Mind elaborating?”

He briefly shifts his eyes to glance around the room, the smile never leaving his lips. He leans in closer, his breath warm and tickling against your ear, making it burn. “Just know I know the ins and outs of this club,” he whispers, his voice a tantalizing murmur. “Some information you might find even surprising that no one else knows.”

You pull back slightly, your eyes locking onto his, a spark of intrigue dancing between you. “Sounds like you’ve got some secrets,” you murmur, your voice low and rich. You reach for his drink from the table in front of you, your fingers brushing against his thigh for balance as you lift the glass to your lips. You take a slow, deliberate sip, not minding that its rim has touched a stranger's lips. “How sketchy,” you dare insult with a playful glint in your eye as you set the glass back down.

“Care to find out?”

“What part of ‘ sketchy’ did you not understand?” You softly laugh.

“I promise it’s harmless,” his voice brimming with mischief, poking the inside of his cheek playfully. “Or at least, you’d have a little fun.”

You hum amused. “Define fun.”

He takes you by the hand, his touch firm yet gentle, leading you away from the pulsating dance floor to a secluded corner of the club. The music echoes softly in the background, its bass reverberating through the walls. You follow him through a maze of dimly lit corridors and alcoves, catching glimpses of other partygoers lost in their own worlds.

The air changes as you enter an empty private space, cooler and quieter than the crowded main room. Your eyes fall on a single secluded corner with windows going ceiling to floor, flooding the room with skylight. The faint scent of his cologne lingers in the air, mixing with the faint aroma of alcohol and the crisp air of a cracked open window too high to reach.

As you settle into a seat in front of the windows, you observe the city through the crystal clear glass, drinking in the scene of small tables adorned with flickering candles, and erotic artwork adorning the walls. The music from the main floor is muted here like the world behind closed doors fell silent for this moment, and only you two are left in the room to bask in it. If temptation was room, this had to be it.

There’s a subtle shift in his eyes, a flicker of something unreadable—resembling pride—before they revert back to his calm suavity. He assumes the seat next to you on the plush velvet couch tucked into a private nook that touches the light of the stars. The soft glow of ambient lights casts a warm, intimate ambiance around you, contrasting with the pulsating beats of the club music that drifts in from the main floor.

“It’s a V.V.I.P area,” Seungkwan explains in a low voice, “Some of the employees don’t even know it exists.”

“But someone like you does?” you inquire, your voice tinged with intrigue.

He shrugs nonchalantly, a hint of pride evident in his demeanor as his body dipped into the leather. “I have my way around here.”

“Really?” you tease, growing slowly more convinced.

Seungkwan meets your gaze with a playful grin. “I obviously can’t tell you everything,” he says, his tone brimming with mischief. “Just know that I’m involved in ways that keep this place running smoothly. The club would die without me.”

You chuckle softly, savoring his playful confidence, and leaning against the cushions, head turned to him. “What can you tell me?” you ask, your voice growing softer. Your finger traces a teasing path down the collar of his shirt, undoing a button with deliberate slowness. “Humor me,” you exhale, your breath brushing against his ear and your gaze locked with his.

You can hear his breath hitch, and finally, you have him right where you want him. He fixes on the way your legs cross, tracing the curve of your calf up to where they disappear under the hem of your skirt. He seems momentarily captivated by the subtle movement of your flesh as they collide against each other, giving hardly any brain capacity to cumulate words.

You notice the furrow of his brow, a slight tilt of his head—as if he were mentally dissecting his thoughts. The dim lighting cast shadows across his face, highlighting the intensity in his eyes tried to regain clarity. You can almost visualize the gears turning in his mind, each cog clicking into place as he forms a coherent story, if any.

Each word comes out in complete shambles and he is saying more nothing than anything. Whatever the truth is at this point, you don’t care. Seungkwan is just too cute to pass up.

The clearing of his throat tells you he’s finished, the tilt of his smile growing less confident and more anxious as your weight pushes against his chest. He tries to come back from his stumble, picking off strands of hair in front of your face and playing with their ends before changing the subject. “Now tell me your work. What is so amazing that you do?”

“I’m—“ a teacher’s aid in massive debt on their way to graduating with potentially a useless degree neither of their parents is proud of because, although you love it,  you’re too proud to say otherwise, “—a indie movie producer with one of the films up for a reward. Super lowkey right now, but…we got Gosling.” You shrug, impressed with your own lies. “So, things are looking up.”

“That’s quite impressive.” he hums, intrigued and interested in hearing about more. “Is he as nice in real life as he is in interviews?”

“Ryan’s got a screw or two loose, but pretty okay guy. At least not into Scientology or anything.”

“Interesting,” He gaze dips towards you, being drawn to you immensely, if not locking eyes with you, scanning over your features, particularly your lips that wished to be claimed. “You call all big-name celebrities by their first name?”

You shrug, the lying coming more and more naturally than anticipated. “Only the ones I’m close with.”

His palm hugs the curve of your cheek, thumb softly brushing against your bottom lip. “I wonder what getting close to you entails.”

“Are you planning on finding out?”

You give each other a long look, one that keeps waiting and ushering the other until your lips decidedly crash into his. His lips part, making way for your presence, the heat of the kiss flushing your skin and pleased shivers running throughout your entire body. Your breath hitches when you feel his teeth pulling your flesh and a soft sigh escapes his lips before his hand creeps behind your head and muffles a moan that neither were sure from who.

You lift your body from the couch, chasing his pace, and pull him closer, kissing him deeper with all your might. You crawl over his lap, straddling his hips, hands in his hair, breath on his skin. Your chest tightens as he presses you closer by the small of your back, to which you gasp as you part from his lips.

He finds your gaze, his round and glistening eyes meeting yours in soft urgency. “You okay? Something wrong?”

You shake your head, palm clasped against your burning face. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

He lets out an amused scoff. “Keep up, Miss producer.”

Your lips reconnect, and fireworks play in your like it’s the fourth of July. Popping and popping. Your lip lock only intensifies as your tongues brush against one another, entangling deeper and soon you realize Seungkwan wasn’t one just to kiss with his lips. 

You ball his clothes in fists when his hands use your hips, running them over his lap, the friction so tantalizing you could hear temptation like a devil on your shoulder. You let him take you, moving towards him replicating crashing waves against sand. Loud. Harsh. Seamless.

Clothes come off soon after, starting with the delicate unbuttoning of Seungkwan’s silk top–donning the torso of one fond of sports and sprayed in excitable perspiration–before then he levers you up and slides slacks down his thighs hurriedly. His bare legs crushed underneath yours, you readily pull up your dress, bunching at your waist as feel him unzip the back, the metal chill against your spine.

“Fuck,” he softly mutters, eagerly digging his fingers in your exposed flesh and whimpering against your kiss. “Don’t hold back with me.”

“Hold back?” you repeat with a chuckle, your fingers that threaded through his hair pulling his head back, angling his head so that he was forced to look up at you in what currently looks to be in awe. “You don’t have to worry about that with me.”

“Shit stirrer, huh? I guess that’s why you’re the one handling production.”

Your lips begin to trail down his jaw, front teeth nipping his skin. “Real question is, would you let me handle yours?”

“I’d let you do anything to me,” he mumbles, earnest in every word, every inch of his body vibrating off yours, including the hardening presence between his legs pressing against your stomach. “Just don’t stop.”

Your dress abandoned on the floor, Seungkwan claiming your tits in either hand, kneading them between his fingers as he’s rolling his hips against your plush flesh and feeling your radiating core slide against his shaft. He involuntarily moans through a bitten bottom lip, imagining you ride him just like this until the end of time, thinking he could cum from this alone until he feels you move the tip of his size towards your entrance. “Oh god,” he gives out, the head of his cock readily grazing over your slit, quickly pleased. “So fucking wet. Fuck…”

“I want you inside me,” you admit, not bothering to subdue your desires. “I want to put you inside me and make me feel every inch of you.”

“Fuck…me…” he presses into your skin flushed against one another, lips curled downward in impatience, gripping your full thighs to either of his sides. “I wanna fuck you so bad. Please give yourself to me.”

“You promise you’ll handle it like a good boy?” You tease, pushing his tip only a centimeter deeper.

“Please, please, anything. I just wanna feel that pussy choke me please.” He begs.

Your hand clamps against the couch enthusiastically, “Fuck you’re so needy. That’s so hot.” Gingerly, you reward his pleas, feeling his raw length make contact with your contracting walls, squeezing around his girth and making Seungkwan flip his eyes before he starts guiding your hips.

“Fuck that’s so good, baby.”

You lightly scoff. “Baby? A little soon don’t you think?”

“Thought we found some common ground when you decided for me to fuck you. My mistake,” he chides.

You catch a tendril of his hair between your fingers, “Maybe it’s how you fuck me that grants you such a term of endearment.”

“Better up my game then.” He lifts you up, tangling your legs around his waist before he pushes you on your back, swiftly slamming his hips against you.

Your head crashes deep into the leather, the musky scent of sex now invading your nose as you drown in heat. “Shit.”

“Making sure I get the advantage.” He folds forward to press against you, your breasts back in his hands before his lips wrap around a nipple, his tongue attacking your sensitivity before he inevitably sucks. He leaves you in an ache, your hips thrusting back into him conveniently in time for him to regain his rhythm.

“S-Seungkwan…”

His moan vibrates against your skin, teeth pulling your nipple as he thrusts deeper, grazing your deep end just perfectly not enough. Fucking tease.

You whine beneath him, squirming. Your legs tighten around him, attempting to make friction, and finding a growl in your throat as a hand of Seungkwan’s squeezes your behind. A whole ass cheek in the clutches of his well-groomed hands, squeezing and memorizing its swell, while he’s splitting you in half to deduce you to a bumbling horny mess.

“Where have you been all my life?” He mumbles with glee.

You clench your fists behind him as he heightens his pace, melting into the tender assault of his lips that burn your skin and silence your voice. He ruts into you deeper, pounding away his frustrations and when he makes it known he’s found your spot, you make it clear as day.

“Oh god,” you groan, gripping him tighter. Your jaw drops slack, silent screams coming out of you, and you cling to him like in desperation to maintain that high as you claw against his broad back.

“That’s so good. Is it right there, am I hitting your spot, baby?” he asks with an exhausted grin.

You nod, softly pleading for more, and he generously grants. In an attempt to intensify your core’s pleasure, his hand cups just above your slit, fingers finding your blossoming bud. Your breath is shot, feeling the caress of his thumb press down before rubbing your arousal around your clit. Your hips thrust into his touch, gripping him by the shoulders, feeling your combined sweat drip from your sides and squeaking against the couch fabric.

“Oh my god, oh my god…” You can’t control it anymore. Seungkwan isn’t just pushing you past the edge, he's shoving you off.

“Like that, baby. Yes, what good girl cumming all over my cock,” he sweetly praises.

You reach him by the back of his head and propel him forward, colliding lips in a fervent liplock. Your moans drowned between one another, your climax coming in tenfold as he didn’t for a second stop, even well after you came. 

Yet, it isn’t enough. Seungkwan shifts and tugs your legs to border his torso. He lifts himself from the ground, his feet flat, shutting your legs tight, having the sweat of your thighs chafe against another unsettlingly. It then becomes completely overlooked with his hips, his cock starts pushing in and out of you, and folding himself into you with your closed legs as your pussy choked around his cock. Your walls pulsating around him, hot and lush, he death grips your body and watches your flesh recoil back against him deliciously. 

“Fucking shit,” he groans, plunging deeper as your cries moisten your cheeks and he brings you to a foreign level of ecstasy. 

His release from what you can tell is thick, warm, and inviting. Your legs find a mind of their own when they decide to lock the stranger in place, feel every ounce of pure pleasure shooting down inside you, coating you in your collaborative efforts, and residing peacefully deep, deep in your sore heat. 

Your lover collapses against you, eyes barely managing to open as he guides your bodies in a more comfortable position, his cum and cock still inside you. 

He’s softly pant, red on every inch of his face, residual from his raging orgasm and…fluster? “I…I don’t usually—“

“I don’t mind,” you gently reassure, brushing away the sweat-soaked hair from his forehead. “I wanted that to happen.”

“But what if—“

“It’s nothing you have to worry about,” you hint and fortunately he gets the clue, cuddling up to you closer.

“Good.” He nods, sounding off in relief.

You play with his ear, thumbing over the flaming red tip. “That was really good.”

The boy can’t help but grin, “I make good on my promises…and if you want, we can do it again.”

Your movement stops. “Oh.” Now you’re panicking. “I don’t think we should.”

His cock slips out of you with ease at your confession, both flaccid and disappointed as cum drips down the leather. “Why not? I thought you liked it.”

You begin sitting up, taking Seungkwan with you. “Of course I do! It’s just…my schedule doesn’t allow me to date—let alone see people outside of work—so, this wouldn’t work.” You offer him an apologetic pat on the back, feeling the muscles pulse against you before you regretfully pull away. “This is actually my last night in town, I was gonna leave soon for another shoot…but this was wonderful.”

You cup his cheek, flushed red and soft as can be, and kiss its fullness, letting your lips linger. “I’m so sorry.” For absolutely lying about everything about me when you gave me the most incredible orgasm I’ve had in centuries and to myself for cutting lose the hottest fucking man fiction and nonfiction you’ve ever fucking met.

“No, I get it,” he answers, a hint of sorrow in his gaze. “You got things going for you. That’s ok. Just let me know when you’re in town, hmm? We can get together again, maybe?”

His sense of hope is admirable, something you saw in yourself a few years ago before the toppling towers of crippling debt fell on you. “I don’t think so, handsome.”

He sighs. “Alright. I get it.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head with a knowing smile. “Don’t be.”

“You ended my vacation the best way you could’ve,” you egg on, “Couldn’t have ended my last night in town any better.”

“Yeah?” He chuckles, finally a light flickering back in his eyes. “Then maybe I can give you a parting gift.”

You raise an eyebrow, following his figure leaving your body and find his knees back in the ground and between your legs, “Seungkwan?”

“Can’t have you leave a mess.” His hand glides over your thighs, gaze flickering from you and your cunt oozing in cum, and his full lips kissing your inner thigh, tingling legs and garnering goosebumps down your shins.

“Are you actually—“

His tongue scraps on the skin just next to your lips, a mixture of your climax settling on his tongue, and you mewl at the sight. He kneads your flesh, his moans tickling your skin and admiring it how he knew how: worship.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” His fingers play against your sensitive folds, tension pressed on your clit. “You’re everything I could want…tasting you and pleasing you is the least I could do.”

His mouth wrapped around your lips before sucking, tongue parting what’s between, and sighing at the harmonious flavor dancing inside his mouth. Your worn walls contract around him, it feeds his desire as he pushes his face deeper inside you, and melts at your hands finding hair in soft strokes. 

Your voice aches for another release. The sensation of his jaw locking and nodding in your heat as his tongue fucks his cum back inside you drives you to up a wall. You squirm the faster he flicks his tongue, legs pulling back and forward, overwhelmed by Seungkwan’s mouth until he holds either one at either side, locking it around his neck.

His eyes ooze with determination and his face falls from color. The compromising position he put himself in is not one free consequence, but for the last single of the most greatest fuck of his life, losing a bit of oxygen was worth it, and his efforts are soon proven.

When you cum this time on his tongue, Seungkwan has never tasted anything sweeter, or rather bittersweet knowing this would be the last he’d get the chance to. He’s tasting you, savoring you, worshiping you. From the scent of your body, to the face you make, from what you feed him. If he knew how impossibly decadent you just were–only for you to leave–maybe he wouldn’t have done this. Or maybe he would.

Reluctantly, Seungkwan breaks apart from your lips to reconnect with another. One last shared, heated breath of this spontaneous exchange. One that he’d remember for a long time, and think about over long nights. Tenderly, your foreheads are the ones to kiss in a silent farewell, sad smiles on both your faces.

“Thank you…for reminding me what it feels like to live my own life.”

The pretty boy softly scoffs, kissing you once more, the tingle his lips lingering on yours. “Make your stories magical as you’ve made my night. Take care, Miss Producer.”

You quickly get dressed before the sexy stranger pulls you right back in his trace and you drag your friend and club attendee all the way back home, giving you the pleasure of finally resting in bed, body still aching from the sweltering sex hours ago. Sadly, without the warm body you enjoyed so much tonight. He made a lasting impression on you and you hope maybe one day on better circumstances you’ll meet again and the lie may someday be true. If you’re so lucky.

Eventually, summer takes its final laps and you’re entering the college semester and start working closely with the professor you’re aiding. The matter that your life is slowly being sucked away becomes more real the longer you look at his lesson plan and although you love writing, you know you’re about to dread the long evenings of paperwork to come. 

The first day of being a TA: get in the building by the car you have barely hanging on, meet with the professor, get in lectures and “TA”, skim through your new work for graduate classes, and sadly eat your late lunch/dinner alone because you know the ziplock of trail mix marinating in your backpack would not be enough. That’s the plan. Easy to follow.

Students start trickling into the classroom about twenty minutes before actual lecture time, some with nervous faces and excited expressions. Then a few minutes before the lecture starts, hoards of students are coming through, the classroom getting louder and louder as there is not enough space for white noise. You feel your heart beating increasingly–admittedly more nervous than anticipated–finding yourself focused on papers to avoid eyes with the other students until you can’t anymore.

With over 100 students, you start to feel like an imposter, a kid playing dress-up in her mom’s closet. Normally, you're not one to get nervous on the first day, but being a teacher’s assistant makes this situation different. You’re terrified of screwing up, whether it’s a big mistake or a small one. You tell yourself you need to get out of your head.

When roll call becomes necessary, the professor hands you the clipboard, forcing you to introduce yourself and make your presence known. Your hands tremble from natural nerves as you call out the names on the list, doing your best to pronounce each one clearly and coherently. Then your gaze lands on a name all too familiar, one that’s been on the tip of your tongue before. You can’t help but look up, eager to hear the voice that responds.

He stares at you, a look of pleasant surprise on his face, his lips curling up at the corners as his eyes gleam with intrigue—just like that night before.

You clear your throat, quickly averting your gaze, and resume roll call. You decide right then to ignore him for the rest of the day, the semester, and possibly the rest of your college career, if you can help it.

When you finish, you don’t dare look up again, telling yourself it’s because it’s the first day. You’ve done everything you needed to do for now.

As the lecture wraps up, it’s time to leave. The professor dismisses the class and exits the room, leaving you to pick up the pieces and answer any lingering questions from students. You just hope this particular student isn’t one of them.

“I had a question, Miss LN.”

You’re reminded that hope is just another word for wishful thinking. You don’t need to look up to know who it is. His voice is already etched into your memory, feeding the part of you that wants to respond, and you clench your thighs at the memory.

“Sure, what… um, what is it?” you respond, still not looking up.

“It’s about the syllabus. I was hoping we could discuss it in private?” His tone carries a hint of something familiar, something that doesn’t belong between a student and a teacher’s assistant.

“The syllabus is pretty self-explanatory,” you reply, trying to keep your voice neutral, though your pulse quickens.

“But I wanted to ask, just in case I misinterpreted anything.”

You make a show of straightening the papers on your desk, the crisp shuffle loud enough to make it clear you’re not amused. “You're a writing major. I’m sure you understand everything just fine.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to check,” he says, a casual shrug masking the intent behind his words.

You sigh, knowing you won’t easily shake him off. Finally, you meet his gaze, catching the anticipation simmering in his eyes. With a resigned breath, you gather your belongings and stand. “Fine, follow me.”

As you lead him to a tucked-away corner, your footsteps echo in the quiet hallway. You glance around to ensure there are no prying eyes before stopping. He waits until you’re both out of sight before speaking, his voice lowering in that familiar way that sends a shiver down your spine. “So, how’s the indie film coming along, Miss Producer?”

Your arms cross instinctively, a barrier against the playful look on his face. His eyes sparkle with amusement, as if this is all a game to him. As if your college career and your career career didn’t hang on the very balance of this conversation and your history. “Very funny,” you reply, glaring at him. “Just two big liars caught in their own webs of lies. How serendipitous.”

He chuckles softly, the sound unnervingly familiar and instinctively arousing. “I know why I lied, but why did you?”

You plant a hand to your chest defensively. “Excuse me, I never anticipated seeing you ever again. It’s natural I’d lie—wait, why did you lie?”

“To get laid. Duh.” He answers as if it was the obvious thing in the world.

You roll your eyes, back knocking against the wall behind you. “Of course, fucking dumbass college boys.”

“You fell for it, so who’s the dumbass now?”

“Still you? Were you even drinking age?”

“Uh, yes that’s how I got in, otherwise they never would’ve let me in.”

Your palm runs over your face in embarrassment, cringing for long nights of thinking of your student of all fucking people. “I fucking knew you didn’t own the Gemstone.”

“Yet, you fucked me anyway.”

You rush towards him, your breath catching as you pin your fingers in front of your lips and hiss, “Will you shut your mouth?”

He crosses his arms, leaning back against the wall, a smug smile playing on his lips. “Why? You’re a TA, not a professor.It’s perfectly kosher.”

“It’s still highly frowned upon to fraternize in that manner, regardless of whether I’m a TA or a professor. I grade your fucking papers,” you shoot back, your eyes narrowing as the frustration rises in your chest.

He just shrugs, that infuriating grin never leaving his face. “Hey, if it gets me a good grade…”

“Or watch me fucking fail you,” you snap, stepping even closer, your voice low and dangerous. “Don’t you ever speak a word about that night again, got it?”

His smile falters slightly, but he quickly recovers, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright, geez.”

“Good.”

But he can’t resist one last jab, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “My lips—and pants—are sealed.”

“Seungkwan!” You hiss his name, barely keeping your voice down, your cheeks flushing with a mix of anger and something else you refuse to acknowledge.

He chuckles, clearly enjoying himself. “Oh, it’s been a while since you screamed my name.”

You grit your teeth and speak through harsh whispers, your patience wearing thin. 

“I will drop-kick you if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

He grins wider, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he leans in just a fraction. “Like I said, I keep my promises. See you on Wednesday, Miss TA.”

With that, he turns and walks away, leaving you standing there, seething, the echo of his footsteps fading down the hallway. The air still buzzes with the tension between you, and you take a moment to collect yourself before heading back, wondering how you’re going to survive the rest of the semester with him in your class. If all your encounters are like this, you might as well quit now.

As expected, that initial confrontation isn’t the last you see of Seungkwan. While being your student, your forced interactions have become a bit of a spectacle among other students, especially considering Seungkwan stares back at you every lecture like you’re the only two people in the room. His routine of pestering during and after lectures has become something his peers have look forward to and you wonder if this kind of thing is normal for a teacher’s assistant.

It seems to have stirred up varying opinions, even among students from other classes—ones far removed from your department, who typically wouldn’t give a second thought to your work. The rumors have even reached the ears of other TAs, the ones you’ve built strong camaraderie with, turning casual conversations into whispered speculations. Some of those speculations have been harmless, fueled by curiosity and mild intrigue. But others? They’ve taken on more confrontational, and their tense gazes have you questioning just how far these rumors have gone.

But is it really a rumor if its all true?

"So, you and that Seungkwan kid, what's that about?"

You give a grand sigh, the weight of your colleague's curiosity pressing down on you as he peers at you, eyes alight with nosy mischief. His intent is clear—he's fishing for details about your relationship with one of your many students. But Seungkwan is different. Far different, even if you’d never admit that aloud knowing how your reputation would stand.

"Really not your business, bud," you reply, trying to keep your tone light, though it’s hard to miss the edge beneath your words.

Your colleague, Soobin, raises an eyebrow, completely unfazed by your attempt to shut him down. "Funny enough, I’m in the business of making things my business."

You scoff, fingers curling tightly around the handle of your freshly brewed coffee, the warmth of the cup your only source of comfort in this conversation. The rich aroma wafts up, offering a brief distraction. "He's my student, obviously, and he’s going to stay that way."

The words come out sharper than intended, the finality of your tone surprising even you. You take a long sip of the coffee, letting the bitterness anchor you. This conversation is tiptoeing too close to a line you’re not ready to cross.

Soobin raises his hands in mock surrender, though there’s a knowing glint in his eyes. "Okay, okay. No need to be so defensive. Good thing you’re keeping it professional."

"I know that. Why are you mansplaining, Soobin? Don’t you have work to do?"

"Of course. Just wanted to point out—it’d be a real problem if you did."

"Uh, yeah. Obviously."

"Good."

"Good."

"I just wouldn’t want to lose anything over it."

You narrow your eyes at him. "What now?"

He hesitates before continuing, grinning sheepishly. "Okay, okay. There might be a bet going around about whether or not you and that kid sleep together again."

"What the—again? Again? What are you talking about?" You gape at him, incredulity painting your features as you struggle to process his words.

"Oh, come on, don’t play dumb," Soobin says with an exaggerated sigh, rolling his eyes. "Everyone knows."

You blink, your mind racing to catch up. "…Everyone?"

"Everyone." He nods emphatically, the corners of his mouth twitching as he takes in your stunned reaction.

Your face falls, and you run a hand through your hair in frustration, your shoulders slumping. "Well, fuck." The words escape you like a dismayed exhale, your voice tinged with disbelief.

"And I bet that you wouldn’t. At least, not until the end of the semester."

"You bet  money on me?" You’re seething, anger now directed at him.

"Not money," Soobin says quickly, raising his hands in a defensive gesture, as if to ward off any further criticism. He leans in slightly, his tone taking on a pleading edge. "But seriously, just don’t do it, okay? Be a good TA and a good friend. Don’t sleep with the boy. Just... don't."

You glare at him, incredulous. "I oughta do it just to make you lose."

"Please don’t! It wasn’t money I bet!"

You narrow your eyes further. "What did you bet, then?"

Soobin shifts uncomfortably. "Just... test answers."

"Soobin."

"Please! Just help me win this. I’m begging you!" Soobin’s voice is desperate, his eyes wide and pleading.

“You could jeopardize your scholarships with this kind of bet.”

“So don’t let me lose this one!” His frustration is palpable, his hands clasped together as if in prayer.

“I could just hit you,” you threaten, though the words come out more resigned than menacing.

“But I’m so lovely. Don’t you think?” Soobin’s attempt at levity falls flat, his forced grin barely concealing his anxiety.

“Soobin, this is seriously messed up.”

He continues, undeterred, “The money I could win could buy me a new apartment to rent out. I’d finally be able to move off-campus.”

“This is so fucked up,” you mutter, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I know, I’m literally on my knees here, dude,” Soobin says, lowering himself as if pleading for mercy.

You run a hand through your hair, trying to stave off the growing irritation. “Fine, damn it. Okay. I hope you’ve fucking learned your lesson and won’t pull this kind of stunt again.”

You meet his gaze head-on, your patience visibly thinning. "Are we done here?"

He nods vigorously, a small, almost imperceptible smile of relief tugging at the corners of his lips. "Of course."

As Soobin walks away, you watch him go, the remnants of the conversation hanging in the air like the fading scent of coffee. You take another sip of your drink, this time more deliberately, letting the warmth seep into you. You try to channel your remaining energy into something productive, determined to salvage what’s left of your day. The knowledge of the bet and the weight of your friend’s reputation hanging in the balance makes every decision weigh heavy on your shoulders.

Despite the sprawling campus and the vast number of students, gossip is as vibrant and pervasive as ever. Seungkwan doesn’t help matters, especially with the frequent discussions you’re having about his late assignments. No matter how stern and resolute your tone becomes, he meets you with a gaze that’s both wistful and enigmatic. His eyes, filled with a mix of wonder and intrigue, follow your every movement. They start by meeting yours directly, then drift downward, lingering on your face, then lower, then lower, and finally–

"Are you paying attention, Seungkwan? Or am I going to have to talk to Professor Yoon about you finally dropping the class?"

Seungkwan leans against the auditorium chairs, averting his attention to the sharp expression on your face, a smug smile tugging at his lips. "No, nothing of the sort, Miss TA. Please, continue to lecture me about what an awful student I am."

Your eyes narrow as you cross your arms, forward on your desk, tapping your foot with growing impatience as you shuffle through to gather your belongings. "I will—and starting where your assignments have been showing up several days late. I can’t keep making exceptions for you."

"Why not? You’re so good at making me feel special," he teases, head tilted, his voice dripping with a sultry sarcasm.

Your patience snaps as you sharply tap the stack of aligned papers on the desk, the sound echoing through the room. "Stop it, will you? Your grade is sinking fast, and at this rate, you’ll be repeating the class."

He shrugs, that maddening grin still in place. "Would that really be so bad? You’d get a whole new semester with me."

You scoff, standing upright, pacing a few steps as frustration simmers just beneath the surface. "Are you seriously going to waste your tuition money just to fail? At least pretend to make an effort. Chatgpt exists for students like you I’m assuming."

He tilts his head slightly, eyes gleaming with mischief. "If only someone wasn’t so distracting, maybe I could. You’d understand, Miss TA."

You stop mid-step, spinning to face him, your voice sharp. "Enough. And stop calling me that—it’s like you get off on it."

"Oh, I do." The playful tone in his voice is laced with something else now, something heavier.

Your jaw clenches, heat rising to your face, thighs sealed against one another.. "Your assignments. On time. By the end of this week, or I’ll recommend to Professor Yoon that you drop the class."

"Fine," he mutters, his tone nonchalant, the smirk still lingering lazily on his lips as he halfheartedly stuffs his books into his bag. His movements are careless, and a few sheets of notebook paper slip out, drifting lazily to the floor without him even noticing.

You sigh, bending down to pick them up. As you straighten, your eyes unintentionally flick over the handwritten lines—only for something to catch your attention. You freeze, blinking at the words on the page. "What the...?"

Seungkwan’s demeanor changes in an instant. His eyes widen, and he lunges forward, panic flashing across his face. "Don’t read that!" His voice is more urgent, almost desperate.

But you dodge his grasp, holding the paper just out of reach, your brow furrowing. "What is this? And why is it actually... interesting?"

"Give it back," he says, his tone softer, pleading now. 

"Why don’t you put this much effort into your assignments?" you ask, glancing up at him, your curiosity overtaking your frustration.

Before you can react, Seungkwan steps closer, his movements more deliberate this time. He snatches the paper from your hands, but his proximity catches you off guard. He’s standing close—too close—backing you into the edge of your desk. His face is flushed, his breath coming in shallow bursts, and you can see the embarrassment in his narrowed eyes, the tips of his ears burning red.

Your heart stutters in your chest, your breath hitching as the space between you seems to shrink. The air feels thick, charged with something you know too fucking well. For a moment, neither of you moves, your eyes locked like you’re frozen. You’re acutely aware of every small detail—the way his fingers clutch the paper tightly, how his chest rises and falls with each breath, the warmth radiating from him as he towers just slightly over you.

Suddenly, he stumbles, his foot catching on the leg of the desk, and you gasp as his weight nearly knocks you backward. Your hands shoot out, gripping the edge of the desk to steady yourself. Your glasses slip down your nose as you blink up at him, your pulse quickening, his face inches from yours.

"Sorry," Seungkwan mutters, quickly pulling away, flustered as he hurriedly gathers the fallen papers, stuffing them into his bag. "I’ll do the assignments. Just... don’t fail me. And don’t repeat whatever you think you read."

Without waiting for your reply, he storms out of the room, leaving you standing there, your chest heaving, the ghost of his presence lingering in the suddenly too-quiet space.

You try to steady your breath, ignoring how ragged it had become, and the unsettling way your blood pulsed—not just through your heart, but in places you'd rather not acknowledge. You forcefully push those thoughts aside, desperate for any distraction. Tonight, that distraction would be class assignments.

With an iced coffee marinating at the corner of your office desk, the papers in front of you blur as his face flashes through your head. You can’t help but recall the way his lips looked—full and slightly parted, the way his eyes gleamed with a mix of defiance and something else entirely. And the warmth of him—how heavy and undeniably right he felt as he leaned over you, his presence lingering even after he was gone.

You shake your head, determined to refocus on grading, gripping the red pen a little tighter. But your mind drifts again, this time to the words you’d glimpsed on that crumpled page. The writing had a familiarity to it, something deeply personal that tugged at the corners of your mind. Reminding you of how much you remembered that night. Specifically how good that night felt.

‘Her whispers, haunting, breath heavy. She gazes at me with eyes full of want, strands of hair falling over her forehead, tantalizing and wild. Her cheek is warm beneath my hand as I pull her closer, our lips meeting, tasting the sweetness of something long desired but never claimed. For this night, she is mine—even if it's only for this night alone.’

Your cheeks flush as the memory hits, the realization settling in with a mix of shock and something you can't quite name. The words were unmistakable—vivid, intimate, dripping with a desire that mirrored the tension between you two. You recognized the inspiration behind them immediately.

He’s writing his own fanfiction. And it’s about you.

Suddenly, you’re not so much thinking about the bet Soonbin warned you about.

[reveriememory]

⭐️ °. • Thank You Neil • .° ⭐️

I pushed myself to finish this in time, and I did! I met Neil, and gave him a physical copy. Till this day, I just freak out when I remember… I really admire him! I’ll talk about that and this art piece after the Read More if you’d like to hear about that.

This art piece started in October, last year as an Astarion fan piece, but overtime I realized I wanted to do something more meaningful. I’ve known of Neil since DBH, so why not create something for him? So I added in Neil, and then I left it alone for months. Didn’t really think anything of it since usually all my art follows this treatment. I focus on it for a whole two weeks and then it fades into the background. However, I got word that Neil was coming to my area, and that’s when I started freaking out. Like, oh my god, I need to finish this… can I give this to him? I’ve never gone to a convention before… what am I gonna do?

So I kept debating to finish this, because I didn’t know what was allowed, and if I could even finish in time, how would I even print this? I mean, I can just finish it at my own pace and tag him or something. In the end, I decided that it’s more important to me to get it to him in person, that way I can also get my copy signed. I had to plan this all out, and long story short, I rushed it in a week. I pulled two all-nighters, and just REALLY rushed on poor Gavin in the background. Gavin was actually a last minute decision! I would’ve added Kamski, but he’s literally just a face copy of Neil so I decided against that, and Gavin was the close second. The reason I chose DBH was because that’s where I first discovered Neil. I was a fan of this game when it first released. Heisenberg was another option, but I never got to his part of the game so I felt it wasn’t a good pick since I was going under personal limitations. Not to mention, really low on time. However, I added some references on the wall, specifically the ones where it was games that I had played! I could’ve added more, but again- time. I drew them in a motion capture studio, because I envision Neil practicing and performing with the characters he had worked on. I just felt like It was a cute little idea, and I admire Neil for his motion capture the most. It’s something I’m trying to get into, or some form of it at least.

Then. The Day.

AHHHHHH. I was starstruck. I’m just going to sum it up and talk about this specific moment. I’m next in line and I just blurt out, “I’m trying really hard not to get starstruck!” But I’m already shaky and half my memory gone. I was so anxious, trying to get through the moment that I didn’t really get to enjoy the moment, but man, am I still happy. I tell him about the piece and he’s like oh, what have you been working on? The drawing got jammed in its protector, so I was just struggling with it. “OH, sorry, it’s stuck!” And he thankfully found it funny. Gave it to him, got my copy signed and perfect. But AHHHH, I’m anxious right? I ask him if he could sign the back of it, because I was worried I’d cringe at the piece in the future. I normally don’t call my art cringe but why, why was I THAT honest—

He’s so quick to reply, super sweet man, just tells me no, don’t cringe. He also asked me about my focus in motion capture, but that’s another post for another day. I have something in the works for that!

Look, in my defense! I RUSHED the piece, so I knew I’d get a bit irritated in the future seeing my art and knowing I had the time to really do a beautiful job! I just meant that knowing how much potential I had, had I taken advantage of that, it would have turned out so much… not better, but to my liking. I’m content, considering the limitations, but… y’know? Anyways, I still wanted to look at his signature and proudly display that, like aye, I got to meet him!

Considering that I rarely draw real people, I’m definitely proud with how Neil turned out. Just like Neil told me, and many others, can’t be too harsh with myself. When working on this, I was super excited and actually thrived while working on it. Yes, under pressure, but dedicated. I can’t remember the last time I ever fixated on an art piece like this. With that said, I definitely want to try again in the future and get better at drawing semi-realism. And Neil is coming back to my area next year so… ideas.

Anyways, thank you for reading my little journal entry! Back to work I go~

[kinkyrafe]

sub!rafe kinktober prompts

hello my loves,

I know the sub!rafe fandom is pretty small but nevertheless a couple of people were interested in a sub!rafe kinktober, so let's do it! I know this is super spontaneous and there's not much time to prepare now but even if we get only a couple of drabbles, headcanons, moodboards or digital art posts here and there I'd totally consider this a win. use whatever prompt you like, join in at whatever day you like and tag your work #sub!rafekinktober -- I'd be super happy if you tagged me as well so I can repost your work even if it doesn't show up in the tag.

the prompts

Oct. 01: "Your body wants it, even if you say otherwise." Oct. 02: "You don’t get to decide when it ends. That’s my job." Oct. 03: "Show me how obedient you can be." Oct. 04: "Tied up and nowhere to go just how I like you." Oct. 05: "Does that feel good?" Oct. 06: "You're not in charge here, no matter how much you want to be." Oct. 07: "I really need to get out of my head." Oct. 08: "Are you sure you want to challenge me when I literally have all the control over you?" Oct. 09: "This is impossible." Oct. 10: "You’re not getting free until I’m satisfied." Oct. 11: "I've done worse to you before, come on." Oct. 12: "Be good and spread your legs." Oct. 13: "I can feel how badly you want it, but that doesn’t mean I’ll give in." Oct. 14: "There you go, baby." Oct. 15: "Ready to beg for me?" Oct. 16: "Is that what I think it is?" Oct. 17: "Sit still or I'll stop." Oct. 18: "Every time you listen, you make me proud." Oct. 19: "How does this position feel?" Oct. 20: "You’re trembling. Is it from fear, or from wanting more?" Oct. 21: "I could also distract you from work." Oct. 22: "It's an order!" Oct. 23: "You gotta work for every single orgasm." Oct. 24: "No hiding." Oct. 25: "Let go. Let me take care of everything." Oct. 26: "You’re perfect for me." Oct. 27: "You did so well today." Oct. 28: "Now where’s the fun in that?" Oct. 29: "Hands behind your back." Oct. 30: "How are you so good at this?" Oct. 31: "Make the most of it."

I love quote prompts and I really hope you do, too. I briefly considered providing scenario / activity prompts but even (or especially) within the BDSM community, the kinks are so diverse that some kinks would have been left out and at the same time, I myself just don't want to write certain kinks -- if that makes sense. with the quote prompts everyone can choose the kink and the scenario for themselves.

enough with the rambling. one more disclaimer: you'll probably see me violate my own schedule. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to write 31 drabbles. I'm currently aiming to upload every second day of October, starting on the 2nd (lame, I know). however, to make up for it, I'll try and use two quote prompts in one drabble.

alright. I hope you'll enjoy this -- I sure as hell will.

let's ruin this b**** (with love).

happy kink season, my loves!

xx bab

_______

@yagirlwrites @audzss

[person4924]

hi !! i’m sam !! and uhhh that’s all u need to know but there’s more under the cut !!

(also im trying to make this aesthetic and cute but idrk how so if u have any tips pls pls pls !!)

yes i’m sad (secretly a dinosaur)

basic info

i’m sapphic of some sort and ace!!

i go pretty much by any pronouns atp but she and they are usually the best!! proud genderfuck ✊

i’m a minor. so please don’t be fucking weird.

i’m american (even worse, the midwest 😨) unfortunately but literally as soon as i fucking can im booting it and moving to norway

i’m neurodivergent of some some sort

i play soccer (defense usually but i like offense more) and lacrosse (i just started so idek) currently but i also usually play volleyball but i missed the season sooo

i have a sideblog that is currently a confessions blog but it might change cus no one actually does it!! but if u would like to do a (general) confession then it is @just-a-little-lad4924

i have another sideblog that is for analysis’ !! i mostly do characters and songs but i’ll do pretty much anything (send me a request please please please please please) it’s @person-speaks

just general facts about me !

my personality type is INFP-T

i have 3 cats!! one at my dads, her name is graci (after gracie abrams ofc) and she’s about a year and a half, and 2 at my moms: regulus (guess who named him!! 😱) and libby and their siblings and are currently abt 3 months !! i could yap abt them forever i love them sm

my favorite color is dark green, fav season is fall, fav holiday is christmas or halloween, fav animal is cats or sharks or moths or jellyfish

i appreciate tone tags and try to use them as much as possible

im always bored so asks and everything are super duper cool !

i love love love making ananlysis' of basically anythng sooo if theres like a song or ship or something i could totallly write an essay abt it or smth !

uhhh idrk what else !!

fandoms AKA past hyperfixations that i’m still attached to but im not necessarily still in the fandom: harry potter (fuck jkr !!), MCU, KOTLC, marauders, boy meets world, it, osemanverse, paper girls, teen wolf, owl house, shameless, glee, stranger things, andi mack, tlou, riordanverse, brooklyn nine nine, new girl, hamilton, grishaverse, community, dawsons creek, bojack horseman, criminal minds, ted lasso, scooby doo, everything sucks!, the sun bearer trials, atypical, octonauts, dead boy detectives, will and grace, how i met your mother, the maze runner, descendants, arcane

uhhh can u tell i don’t have many friends.

fav movies (not counting fandoms): tick tick boom, my girl, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, little rascals, empire records, bottoms, nimona, little women, 500 days of summer, benny & joon, beautiful boy, call me by your name, lady bird, stand by me, RWRB, addams family values, the breakfast club, spiderman ITSV/ATSV, the outsiders, luca, the perks of being a wallflower, dead poets society, big daddy, the edge of seventeen

once again. i have very little friends. and very many issues.

fav music people (not always up to date i like new artists every day): gracie abrams, taylor swift, noah kahan, mitski, boygenuis, julien baker, phoebe bridgers, lucy dacus, hozier, the head and the heart, conan gray, RKS, queen. harry styles, the fray, olivia rodrigo, coldplay, billie eilish, maya hawke, bo burnham, chappell roan, the smiths, the revivalists, addriane lenker, lorde, fiona apple, alex g, ani defranca, radiohead, montell fish, lizzy mcalpine

just general interests: poetry, art, writing, sitcoms, stand up comedy, greek mythology, the sky (like the stars, moon, sun, etc. astronomy metaphors are my everything), moths, jelly fish, ocean animals in general (first special interest 💪💪), pretty much just animals in general, 90's movies, cinematography, bo burnham (i didnt know where eles to put him), annotating, musicals, actors, spider man

fav books (also not including fandoms): the perks of being a wallflower, the outsiders, i fell in love with hope, ill give you the sun, and more but i dont remember the names atm !

my fav ships (buckle in! i apologize.): wolfstar, jegulus, jily sometimes, pandalily, dorlene, rosekiller, drarry, jeric (bmw), reddie, charlie/nick, tara/darcy, tao/elle, lister/jimmy, pip/rooney, kajemac, sterek, isaac/stiles, malia/stiles, lumity, gallavich, ronance, solangelo, valdangelo, kinda percico, dianetti, wesper, kanej, trobed, joey/pacey, ralvez, spencer/ethan, kindaaa moreid, painland, newtmas, jaylos, harry/carlos (idk the ship name), robin/barney, caitvi

i might have missed a few but these are My Guys. /gn

links!

spotify!! - my character playlists are my pride and joy and reason for living, i could write essays about how each song could specifically fit the character and situation. anyways!!

discord

airbuds - idk if anyone uses this but if u do add me!!

ao3 - i have 1 fic that is my fav thing ever (a camp halfblood group chat) and the other two... are there

pinterest

tiktok - this is my alt that i blocked all my friends on and i have like my fandom shit but i don’t post that much and im barely on tt to begin with but yeah !!

pronouns page

spotify stats - idk if anyone uses this but also yeah !!

i have a super duper cool discord server that u should totally join too… link

i have a tagging system

sam shut the fuck up - og posts

asks!!! - asks

crazy? i was crazy once - big lists and essay things

sam sings :O - lyric/music posts

it’s so hard to be a lizard… - any jokes i make because im literally bo burnham

art i need in my veins - self explanatory mostly for myself but everyone else should also see this

and i think thats it!! if anyone has any ideas of things to add then yeah !! or how to make it look prettier cusss uhhhh yeah.

oh yeah and this is an official @i-luv-multiple-ppl fan account so !!

and creds to @cafekitsune for the dividers!!

[a-chaotically-small-lunta]

Okay so I have an idea, perhaps it’s a good one, or perhaps not; but you know sometimes you see people’s art and you wonder how are they so good and then feel like comparing yourself to them, but if you look back at your old art you see how much you’ve improved. Well You see this stack of books?

These are my many old sketchbooks/books I used as sketchbooks/inktober only sketchbooks with the oldest being from 2016 to the most recent 2024 (technically 2022-2024 but whatever) and I thought “hey what if I share ALL my old art…but then I remembered that some of its dark or super gorey…so I’m wondering if I should share all of it or just some of it. (If I do share the more Gorey stuff I’d tag it correctly and hide it under read more just in case…I was in a dark spot for a bit and it got reflected in what I drew) But I’m also wondering which book I would start with. Should I start with the oldest and work my way up, or should I just do it randomly OR should I do it from biggest book to littlest or vice versa. So many options!!!

But my main goal for this is to show that we all start somewhere and that it takes time to improve. We all draw weird looking hands that are too small or don’t look right, we all draw cringy self insert stuff that we look back at all embarrassed and stuff. But also it’s to remind people that at one time we were proud of our old art and in a way should still be proud of it, even just a little cause it was fun to do and make. Cause you should be proud of what you draw at any point of your drawing career/talent! Because it’s you and can reflect you and that time in your life. Old sketchbooks and old art are like time capsules that can capture things simple photos cannot. It can capture your progress, your interests, your mental state, and just that moment in time in such a unique way.

Anyway if you guys want to let me know what you think of this then go ahead and tell me!

[chrkrose]

An exclusionary fanfic exchange implying that those who like the show are somehow lesser than you is nothing to be proud of.

Ok so, I was gonna be nice and all and joke around about show fans lack of taste but I thought better and maybe this deserve a proper response since it seems like y’all feel as if you can say whatever you want but don’t have to hear what others want to say it back.

Ever since season 8 ended, y’all show stans have been on some bs huh? I honestly don’t get it. When the exchange was announced, there was a “warning” for it coming from y’all’s side as if a book exchange needs a trigger warning or something. And don’t think I didn’t notice that another exchange was happening around the same time and the word “inclusive” was thrown around as if by accident and not as a dig to some imaginary offense y’all think book shippers have said to y’all just because they rather read… book fics. I can personally testify about the bs that I’ve seen myself, like people dogpiling on a fan just because they complimented a show fic saying that it was very good and how it fixed the show’s writing. As if they called y’all’s mother the devil by stating the obvious (that the show sucks). As if saying that (that the show sucks) is a personal offense to y’all. Don’t y’all see how much this is a self report?? Like, y’all ALONE are the ones associating liking the show = being called dumb, lacking of taste or whatever else y’all think we are calling you for liking the show. We aren’t the ones saying that. We aren’t saying shit actually. We are just enjoying our thing but even that seems to make y’all pressed.

You guys fucking DOMINATE all the tags and then want to claim book fans are “exclusionary” when we, “BOOK SNOBS”, are the ones who have VERY LITTLE fic and content. If we don’t do it ourselves, we definitely won’t get it from y’all. Which is fine by me, because I don’t care if other people don’t like what I like. And I’m more than happy with creating the content I want to see. But it's SUPER SELFISH and EMBARRASSING that the ONE TIME book fans want to get extra content, we need to read passive aggressive bullshit. When WE ARE THR ONES who need to dive through thousands and thousands of show content IN BOOK TAGS because y’all can’t tag things properly for shit, nvm all the Nikolaj and Gwen content that have absolutely several nadas to do with Brienne and Jaime and asoiaf. Y’all make 10 million exchanges per year and we don’t complain, but suddenly a book only exchange is cause for meltdowns crying throwing up?

(And don’t think I don’t know you only sent this to the book exchange mod who isn't as well known and beloved (me) because y’all know if it was Ell receiving that, that it would backfire.)

So like, as an exclusionary j/b stan, let me be very clear: I don’t like the show, I don’t care for the ship version of the show, and I won’t stop creating spaces where I can discuss and read content about the book characters of my ship without having to deal with UNSOLICITED opinions about them from people who throw a crying fit every time someone as much as hint that the show version doesn’t hold a candle to book j/b. Artists want to produce their art without having to read UNSOLICITED opinions about the book characters that come across as disrespectful just because y’all rather simp for d&d and can’t conceive why others don’t feel like it. If you don’t like book fics or the book version of the ship, my suggestion is:

Don’t read it.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

((Redoing this cuz TUMBLR FLAGGED IT DAMNIT))

20 Questions for Fic Authors !!

Thank you S O SOSOSOSOOSSOSO MUCH @sunhatllama & @courtofparrots for tagging me!!!!! :DDD

1. How many works do you have??

36!!

2. What is your AO3 word count??

202,659!!!!!!!!! God fucking damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. What fandoms do you write for??

Just Resident Evil!! :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos??

1. All You Have To Do Is Ask

2. Your Drunk Words Are Sober Thoughts

3. Leon (Finally) Gets Top Surgery

4. Anemoia

And Love Me Like There’s No Tomorrow in that order!!

5. Do you respond to comments??

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES EVEN IF IT TAKES ME FOREVER I ADORE COMMENTS THEY KEEP ME GOING

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending??

OOOOOUGHH this is hard because I am ALLERGIC to writing angst BXBDHENSJ I don’t know why I just struggle to do it!!!! I always feel too bad for the characters!!!!! But if I HAD to pick I’d proooobably say It Was Only Yesterday for @aquarelacosmica because old age is sad I guess BXNENNEDJ

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending??

Literally all of them HDBEHENDJJ happy endings are guaranteed with all my fics but if I had to chose my favourites, they’d be, in no particular order;

1. Marido

2. Matteo

3. Beautiful Boy

4. New Years

5. I’ll Help You Pray

And 6. Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy!!

8. Do you get hate on fics??

Not so far thank god!! I’ve definitely received WEIRD or overbearing comments but no hate!

9. Do you write smut??

My only NS f W fic is Feeling Loved, and it’s more a piece on Luis’ chronic pain and self esteem after RE4 than it is smut I’d say!! It’s very near and dear to my heart <3

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve written??

I’ve never WRITTEN a crossover HOWEVER I have PLENTY of AU’s in my art tag!!! I’d love to write my Warriors Serennedy AU out someday though!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen??

Nope!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated??

I’ve actually been asked by somebody before if they could translate my fic one time!!! I don’t remember which it was, but I had to politely decline since I didn’t know the language and wouldn’t be able to crowd control the response, but they were super duper polite and kind about it!!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before??

I’ve never co-written a fic per se but I’ve definitely had my friends bounce ideas between me and help me with proofreading!!!!! Ily guys <<<<333

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

leans on the suspiciously serennedy-shaped box standing in my room Why do you wanna know?

15. What’s a WIP you’d wanna finish but doubt you ever will??

I have quite a handful that I’ve started but unfortunately lost the momentum for and can’t find it again.

Writing is a lot like art for me- if inspiration strikes I have to do it THEN AND THERE or else I’ll lose the groove for the kind of style/inspo I wanted to do it in, and unfortunately I had to give up quite a few fanfic projects this year to focus on art and also mainly cuz the beginning of this year has been VEEEEEERY tough and I always prioritise my art over writing unfortunately!!

I’m proud of myself for finishing (I’m Just A) Sweet Transvestite though- that one was made through blood sweat and tears :,)

16. What are your writing strengths?

UHHHH NO CLUE!!! I’ve been TOLD it’s how I characterise my characters and how I write dialog, but I think the easiest thing for ME is describing scenes so I dunno!!

17. What are your writing weaknesses??

Can saying ‘everything’ count HFNEHENDJ I’m more of an artist than a writer!! But I think the thing I struggle with the most is stretching out important emotional beats. And also commas.

18. Thoughts on writing dialog in another language??

I do it all the time for Luis so Hell Yeah!!! Thank you Wilfreeeeeeeddd for helpiiiinnngg <<<33

19. First fandom you wrote for??

Also Resident Evil!! Serennedy has a violent chokehold on me

20. Favourite fic you’ve written??

(I’m Just A) Sweet Transvestite !! I am S O proud of myself for finishing it man!!!!! I went through HELL and back writing it and I made something that means a lot to me!!!!!!

Tagging @blveherb , @geddy-leesbian , @leonsbunny , @hamartia-grander , @ugetelynx , @theprestigegirly @mooseonahunt and anyone else who wants to join!! :DD

[gummybugg]

Get To Know My OC

I am so excited to do this one! Thank you, @writernopal, for the tag! Go read her Super cool post Here.

Jemmah, I choose you!

Jemmah rolls her eyes and reluctantly follows my voice down a hallway lined with white concrete walls covered in timeless murals. His clunky platforms tack against the cracked, yellowed tiles. The witch makes her way into the room at the end of the hall labeled “Interviewing Room” in black Lobster font. There, she seats herself, cross-legged, in a folding metal chair in front of a thick, wooden table across from me, who stands behind a one-way mirror. He is alone, except for a friendly spotlight that shines in his face. The faint sound of the Family Feud theme song plays in the speakers above.

“I know you’re there. I’m not stupid.” Jemmah squints her eyes from the harsh light. I tell him why he’s here and that he’s the perfect candidate to answer these questions. She obliges, saying under her breath that once this is over, for me to never contact her again, or else I’ll regret it.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not to my knowledge, no.

2. When was the last time you cried?

What kind of question is that?

3. Do you have kids?

Of course, not! Jemmah looks offended, as if this question were indicative of his age.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

To some it’s sarcasm, but to Silas, it’s a form of endearment. I have to watch what I say around them so that they don’t misconstrue.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Usually what clothes they have on. Big talk coming from someone who wears a lot of holographic clothing, I know. But if I see one clashing pattern or color, your first impression is as good as ruined.

6. What's your eye color?

Turquoise, Jemmah says as she squints in the mirror, over five feet away. They look black when my pupils are completely dilated. (note: Jemmah has pupils like a cat’s)

Scary movies or happy endings?

Don’t tell Binaca this, but I actually don’t mind the gushy movies she puts on during movie night. He looks off to the side for a moment, realizing that Bianca is probably tuning in.

8. Any special talents?

Well, I can pour a perfect shot, I can craft pretty potent healing elixirs, and I can dance in ten-inch heels. So I’d say I have a few talents up my sleeve. Jemmah crosses her arms, looking rather proud of herself.

9. Where were you born?

Not exactly in this city, more on the outskirts. She nods, as if any of that made a lick of sense. Jemmah isn’t too fond of sharing private information.

10. What are your hobbies?

Well, I work at a bar called Indie’s Bar and Thrills, but you’re asking what I do outside of work. I like to paint landscapes, go to wine and painting events, cook, and read.

11. Have you any pets?

Yes, I have a white ball python named Leone! Jemmah flashes a smile, but is quick to hide it with the paper held in front of her. But if you were referring to the demon in my house, then yes, I suppose I have two pets to look after… Jemmah grimaces to himself.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I’m not really a sports person, but I do occasionally dance at Indie’s.

13. How tall are you?

Five feet and eleven inches, the last I checked.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Currently, I am pursuing the art of potion-making. It’s a craft I have been studying for my entire life. Everyone tells me I’d be the youngest person to ever have received such a license, but they don’t know the half of it.

15. Dream job?

I like my bartending job at Indie’s and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But if I had to choose another job, it would probably be something in the medical field. Healing is what I am good at, no matter how you slice it. Jemmah doesn’t seem to notice her pun, but luckily I do, and call her out on it. She fights really hard not to smirk and says how stupid a pun it was.

Just as promised, I release Jemmah from the room, and cut all forms of contact with him. Everyone give it up for our favorite witch! The Family Feud theme starts back up again as the witch hastily makes her way out of the room, cursing under her breath.

Tagging (as soft as a feather): @hihopelessromantics, @another-white-hole, @yedithwrites, @imaginarie-fun, @new-royston-cursebreakers, @charlesjosephwrites, @rickie-the-storyteller, @sabels-small-sphere, @doublegoblin, @hydrangea-gas, @digitalsatyr23, @withlovelunette, @akindofmagictoo, and really Anyone because I couldn’t tag Everyone, and plus I love learning about everyone's ocs! This is a very Open tag!

[myfavouritelunatic]

Tag Game - Fandom Edition

I was tagged by the wonderful @heronamedhawks thank you!! ❤️

Your Name: Kendall

Your First Fandom: I would say, if we go back to the days of forums in the 00’s, I would count the Michael Jackson fandom as my first.

Your Current Fandom: The Rings of Power! 😍 And it’s honestly the best fandom I’ve ever been a part of.

How did you first get into fandom?: It all comes down to a way to connect with other like minded souls, and share your love for the thing you’re all obsessed with. And as a teenager in the early/mid 00’s I didn’t really have any friends that loved Michael Jackson as much as me.

How long have you been engaging in fandom spaces?: Well as two of my previous answers have stated, approximately 20 years haha.

How often do you read fanfic?: I wish I had more time to read! My free time is kind of split between reading and writing. But I’m reading a lot more often now than I used to thank goodness!

Top three characters from your current fandom?: Halbrand/Sauron, Galadriel, and Elrond. 😍

Have you ever written a fic for a fandom and if so, shout it out!: Why yes I have written a few pieces over the years for different fandoms, but for some reason being a part of The Rings of Power fandom has me writing like never before! Like I have the most WIP’s going that I’ve EVER had. It’s nuts. And the story I’m most proud of, of course, is The Blacksmith. Writing that has changed my life in so many beautiful ways and I am eternally grateful. ❤️

Have you ever drawn fan art for a fandom?: Years ago yes, but drawing isn’t my strong suit haha.

Share a personal headcanon that you feel strongly about: Hmmm the only one that comes to mind is that I’m fully on Team Repentant Sauron. (Yes I know I’m biased and also likely wrong but I DON’T CARE. 😜) There’s just something about the way he acted with Galadriel in certain scenes (in the woods, in the smithy) that speak to him truly seeking redemption. Not to mention the fact he didn’t want to leave Númenor. Am I choosing to ignore the fact he’s one of the most deceptive, cunning, and charming beings ever conceived? Yes, yes I am.

You’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them?: Oof this is a tough one. For The Rings of Power, I personally feel that episode one is a super strong pilot, so I would for sure start there. But of course, since the spoilers are everywhere, if the person I was showing knew Halbrand was Sauron, I would absolutely show them the reveal/raft vision scene. Hands down my favourite of the entire show.

And finally, what does fandom mean to you?: It’s about a safe space to express your feelings for what you love with people who love it just as much as you! It’s about supporting each other and honestly just having a good time!

Tagging, no pressure: @denzit @pursuitseternal @vellichormybeloved @coraleethroughthelookingglass @somebirdortheother @gil-galadhwen @starlady66 @helenvader @iamstartraveller776 @myrsinemezzo @klynnvakarian and anyone else who wants to share! ❤️

[fangirlanxiety74]

Hrmmm…,,.,,, now what do I think of yooouu….,,,..

Well… okay.

When I first started on Tumblr, I had… no real confidence in my art. I was doing it for fun, but… I also never much liked what I produced. So, when I started garnering attention and people started especially noticing my work, it was… scary. Overwhelming. Exciting, of course, but… it was a lot for a 14ish y/o to deal with.

Then I got into IHNM and… wowzers. Suddenly there was this thing that I could just stick to. Enjoy and draw for with no real thought behind it. I had this sudden burst of “I want to create!!!! I want to join people and have fun and be silly and not think about if my art has to be good or not!!” And… man. Out of the blue I was just having raw fun with something.

But… still. As much fun as I was having, I was so scared to… share that enjoyment. Let people see my silly AUs and hear me ramble about my OCs. But, again!! People liked it!!! People who I thought were really cool were actually giving my silly stuff attention.

And this username kept popping up- on every reblog with tags that made me laugh, or smile, or just feel genuine honor- there was the same name. Ofc, it was yours.

Then I joined the Belly of AM Discord, and!!! Oh my god, people knew who I was there!!!! I’d chatted with a few through tumblr, sure, but for those people to welcome me into their little group with name alone? Ahhh!!!!

And, especially, there was you. You listened to all my rambles, replied to me in chats, talked to me through VC, stumbled through my insane texts and just… you were just always there.

And then you put out a hand, and started reaching to be present, out of fandom. Out of reality.

Thank you for being a friend. For being so encouraging, and kind, and welcoming, and- human, really.

I was in a dark place when I first started speaking to you on a more personal level- had been for a while, and… kinda still am. But you, and everyone I’ve met through Tumblr and Discord, have aided me in achieving a much healthier mindset.

I don’t know where I’d be without a friend like you. I don’t know where I’d be with people like you. And it all sounds weird to say, but!! man… I’m really glad I get to be part of your day-to-day. You’ve brought me to a place I didn’t think I’d be- both from just being yourself, and from you lifting me up.

Thank you for being my friend. Really. I hope, whatever future lies ahead, is one where you’re happy. I know it, actually. Someone like you gets a happy ending.

-Beento

I-

*sigh* Okay.

Honestly? I did not expect us to have close friends. I really did, genuinely, want to befriend you but I'm shy about these things, so the best I could do was just, let you know I loved your artwork and OCs through tags and replies and whatnot!!! And I was perfectly cool with it. I loved your art, and your AUs, and this creative energy you had going on and it helped me get out of my funk I had been stuck in for ages where I wasn't writing or drawing or doing anything. Because, I wanted to have the same courage you had to put myself out there!!!

And then you joined the discord, and I got super excited, because "Oh!!! I know this person!!! We're mutuals, and we get along, and now I get to see more of their content and I get to learn more about them!!!"

And I did, and it was great!!! And then we started rping together, and talking about OCs with each other, and it just kinda blossomed and I got to see *you* blossom into this super amazing person that really had an impact on my life, even if it doesn't seem like it first glance!!! Like, man, I'm so so so happy to have gotten to meet you.

And then when we started actually, opening up to each other, and talking on vc and whatnot? I felt like. Honored, ig? That you wanted to in the first place??? That you LIKED and CARED for my OCs, and even more, cared for ME??? As much as I care for you, even!!!

I meant what I said. I'm so proud of you. Of all the things you've had to face, and the things you're facing now, and the things you'll face eventually; I'm proud of you for doing it! For making it out! For still, being here, existing, making my life and the lives of everyone else better, and for you choosing to make yourself better, even if it's hard to do right now!!! You're literally so incredible, I cannot stress that enough. And I'm really honored that you allow me to be there to support you and cheer you on while you go and do incredible things!!! For letting me be a part of your life.

I feel like I could go on about this but I'd just, be rambling on in circles. But like, bottom line:

Thank you. And I care about you, immensely. And I really do wish you the best in everything you do.

And never forget where it all started: Me feeling very strongly about Benny telling AM about the FNAF lore.

It's crazy what FNAF can do to bring people together /hj

[chaotic-mystery]

15 questions + 15 mutuals

Thanks for the tags, I forgot to get back to this until now…ooops. <3

were you named after anyone?

No, I don’t think so! My mom and dad wanted all of our names to be in alphabetical order since they were J + K, so my sister is L & I’m M.

when was the last time you cried?

Good god I cry all the fucking time is kind of ridiculous. You would’ve never guessed I’m an Aries.

do you have kids?

No & idk if I would ever want them…that’s terrifying to think I could end up like my parents regardless of how hard my mom tried.

do you use sarcasm a lot?

It’s almost inappropriate how much I use it

what's the first thing you notice about people?

This may be just because I work in retail but I notice how people treat workers + their tone. If they are shitty to people just doing their job, they’re a shitty person. Outside of that, I think how they present themselves on a first impression is what I notice, I can tell if they’re trying too hard.

what's your eye color?

It’s a weird mix of blue / grey with green around the middle but not a lot

scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies 110%. It’s all I know at this point.

any special talents?

I used to be super good at piano & cello. I’m an artist and I do my own nails at home. I can retain weird information really well and often times can remember movie info that is odd.

where were you born?

The mothafuckin’ Midwest babyyyyy. It’s embarrassing I have nothing to be proud of 💀

what are your hobbies?

My nails at home, drawing/painting/digital art. sleeping, being a cute girl.

have any pets?

I have two dogs! They’re both a Dalmatian mix and they’re my world.

what sports do you play/have you played?

I tried out for the volleyball team in middle school and when I didn’t make it I cried and swore I’d never do sports.

how tall are you?

5’7 honeyyy, a lil stallion

favorite subject in school?

I loved AP art, it gave me so much freedom and I got to do whatever I wanted.

dream job?

Something that is stable and I can live comfortably, and just be happy. But ultimately it would probably be something to do with art / writing

Feel free to do this if you want, I’d love to see it! 🖤

[antiquesintheattic]

ty for the tag @pleasuresoftheharbor !!

Name: well my full name is alexis but i really only ever go by lexi cause alexis feels too formal haha

Sign: pisces but i’m not really into astrology so idk what that means for me! lol!

Time: 11:23am as i’m typing this

Last movie: blood simple! very pretty looking and cinematic

Last show: wait truthfully i don’t even know… usually i’m in a movies or a shows phase and currently i’ve just been watching a lot more movies

When I created this blog: 2017 baby! but i didn’t start regularly posting like i do now until January 2022

Other blogs: oh boy. i have one i made for my own personal posts but now i just put them here, one for my art, one for old flickr posts (i have no idea if i’ll keep up with that one though and will probably just continue posting them on here as well), and one for like cringey fandom stuff that i will NEVER release the url for lmaooo it’s just an archive for myself mainly

Do I get asks much: noooo </3 and tbh i don’t even know if my ask box is visible? idk i think i’ve gotten 2 though so it must be!

Average hours of sleep: hmmm probably around 7. but like i sleep from 3am-10am so it’s not anything to be tooooo proud of haha

Instruments: i started learning guitar but i don’t have the discipline to do it by myself so i’d love to get into some proper lessons !

What i’m wearing: just the most atrocious combination imaginable. absolutely abominable. i’m wearing black camo sweatpants that i was wearing yesterday and a large red white and blue flannel that doesn’t even almost match <3 it’s okay they were my pj’s and at least i’m comfy

Dream job: i would love to do something creative like photography, music, art, or anything in that realm. what would be super could would be making album art for bands or like being a rock photographer omg. ross half i’m i’m coming for your job. i love rock music obviously so it’d be fun to be in the scene but i lack the skills needed to be a musician hehe

i will tag: @westerberg @rutles and @adventure1978 (SORRY I KEEP TAGGUNG UIU WHEN YOUVE ARWADY BEEN TAGGED OOPS) but definitely don’t feel pressured for this one ik it’s a lot of stuff about yourself ❤️❤️

[ekkoh]

15 Questions and 15 Mutuals

literally LOSING MY MIND that i was tagged in this 😭 thank you @outer-edges

Were you named after anyone?

no, but my older brother told me i was named after a vacuum cleaner brand and i believed that for a couple years. 💀

When was the last time you cried?

today!! i cried over the end of nimona. one thing you should know about me is that children’s animated movies are constantly destroying me. (see: puss in boots 2, both spiderverse movies, the sea beast, fantastic mr. fox, i can keep going—)

Do you have kids?

nope! no nieces or nephews either. idk what i’m gonna do when i become an aunt bc i don’t know how to talk to kids. 😭 i feel like kristen stewart in that snl duolingo for kids sketch.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

not online but i feel like A LOT in person. maybe too much.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

this is weird but… hair color? where i live, natural brunettes are dwindling because everyone’s dying their hair blonde. 😭 whenever i meet a natural brunette in the wild i always feel an instant kinship. we are bonded for life. we can never dye our hair.

What's your eye color?

blue!! i’m irrationally proud of it because my entire family has brown eyes. i’m cool. i’m ~different.~

Scary movies or happy endings?

HAPPY ENDINGS!!!! this is because i don’t watch scary movies, ever. any movie that is slightly “scary” is off-limits bc i am a huge coward. i can’t even watch the nightmare before christmas.💀

Any special talents?

i’m really good at hitting all the best rides at disneyland without waiting in lines longer than 15 minutes. it’s an art form that i’ve mastered.

Where were you born?

CALIFORNIA!!!! (california gurls we’re unforgettable)

What are your hobbies?

i love creating incredibly specific playlists for incredibly specific emotions. i collect pins!! one of my prized possessions is a limited edition tangled pin. i also like to write fic, although real ones know i only write it in my head because i’m always disappointed by my skill when i actually type it out. 💀

Have any pets?

an orange cat named winston! not from new girl, i just thought it was a cute name. he is my light and my life, and yes, he is dumb.

What sports did you play/have you played?

i did jazz and hip-hop as a kid, i was a cheerleader (backspot) for one year lol, and i played volleyball (middle) for two years. i sucked at everything. i’m not athletic. 😭😭

How tall are you?

my government height is 5’6.5” but i like to tell people 5’7” because it’s a neater number. 💀 my height is actually one thing about me that i love. i’m on the tall side but not super tall, y’know? great for concerts. i can see the stage but i’m not feeling guilty bc i don’t block other people’s views.

Favorite subject in school?

ENGLISH NATION RISE UP!! i was the kind of girl that everyone hated in english class bc i was always commenting in discussions. also, not to brag (i’m bragging) but i always got the highest scores on essays.

Dream job?

this sounds stupid bc i literally worked at a dinosaur museum and then quit because it sucked but. i want to be a museum tour guide because i love teaching people about things i’m obsessed with. not a dinosaur guide though. i hate dinosaurs. (sorry to the dinosaur kids)

no pressure tag @sotvtaughtmehowtofeel (if you’ve already done this i am so sorry don’t look at me i would be so embarrassed)

[loveislarryislove]

2022 Writing Reflection

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 18 (holy shit???)

2. Word count posted for the year: 107,382 (double holy shit?????)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, Critical Role, Tamora Pierce, The Old Guard, Percy Jackson

4. Pairings: Larry, BeauJester, Immortal Husbands, Shiall, Solangelo

5. Story with the most…

Kudos: I Can Build Your Heart A Home

Bookmarks: I Can Build Your Heart A Home

Comments: Hash Brown, Egg Yolk, I Will Always Love You

Hits: Your Skin On Mine (I'm Losing Control)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

So I have two fics I want to shout out for this. First is Do You Think The Tides Know, which is a super personal concept to me and one I’ve been wanting to explore for a while. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever written before, and I’m not sure if I’ve ever read anything quite like it -- where from the beginning it’s clear that the main character won’t get the guy, where the endgame pairing doesn’t involve our POV character, where no matter what we’re rooting for we know it involves heartbreak. It’s complicated and it’s messy and it’s imperfect and it’s painful and I think that’s important, you know? That’s real. That’s life. And that’s okay. 

I’m also really proud of my Reverse Bang fic, they say looks can kill (and i might try), which just posted this week. I’ve always been intimidated by worldbuilding, but the art and prompt from @haztobegood were just... so vivid and interesting and exciting, and I could feel the world begging to be explored. I was initially afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it justice and realize the ideas the way I wanted, but I’m so glad I did it anyways. I don’t think I did a perfect job, there are still gaps that I’m aware of as the person who created them, but I also think that overall I did a damn good job! Go me!  

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): 

I’m also going to mention two here. First is my Emelan fic for Troped: Chapters -- I had some fun with the concepts but I just wasn’t feeling the romance that was the center of the prompts, and I wasn’t sure how to make everything play out effectively. Second is my Camp Half-Blood AU for Astrofest -- I had a much bigger, grander, more complex idea mapped out based on all the different positive and negative meanings of the card, but I just bit off more than I could chew in terms of time and energy, so the fic I wrote instead was a much simpler spur-of-the-moment idea. It’s a fine story, I don’t dislike it, but it wasn’t what I’d wanted to write initially. Still, I’m glad it nudged me to start exploring that ‘verse -- I wrote a PJO fic a month or two later and I’d like to write more! I might also revisit the more complex idea someday, I still think that it would be a super cool story! 

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: 

I received a ton of wonderful comments and tags, but I think some of my favourites were the appreciation for the check ins and conversations around kink in fics like it's always me that ends up getting wet. We love boundaries and consent!!! Having that level of trust with your partner is what most interests me about kink, so it felt really validating and rewarding to see that reflected and appreciated. 

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: 

Looking at my writing tracker, I only wrote like... 800 words in March, so I guess numerically you could say that was hard, since I didn’t do it. 

In the other direction, in August and September I published TEN fics (totaling about 46k words), so that was. a lot of writing. why did I do this. I’m so proud but also kind of concerned. 

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Is it too unspecific to say “all of the smut”? Like wow, usually I don’t really write smut, but this year I was apparently VERY INSPIRED. And I kept writing such huge word counts in one go, wow. 

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Oh man, it’s always hard to pick just one piece (especially without it getting ridiculously long), but let’s go with this snippet from Do You Think The Tides Know, as Zayn says goodbye to Louis at the end of the summer:

Zayn pulls Louis into a tight hug, trying to memorize the feeling of his body, the sound of his heartbeat, the smell of his hair.

“Don’t be a stranger, yeah?” he says, trying to keep the catch in his throat from showing in his voice. “I know we don’t usually talk that much outside the summer, but… you have my number, if you ever, like, have questions or just… if you ever need anything. Call me.”

Louis chuckles. “I know,” he says. “You’ve always got my back. Thanks, man. You’re a great friend.”

Zayn squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, then forces them back open. “Good,” he says, stepping back. “And… good luck.”

A bright smile dawns across Louis’ face. Zayn wishes it was for him, wishes he could make Louis look like that. But failing that, he hopes that the person who does make Louis smile like that – he hopes he never stops.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

This is kind of unspecific, but I think just... being more willing to try things that are unfamiliar and step outside of my usual comfort zone. That willingness feels like growth, and doing that creates growth. 

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

Part of me wants to say writing self-motivated fics, stories I tell just because I want to and without outside boxes I have to fit into or people holding me accountable. But maybe the real growth would be acknowledging that those outside influences and motivations are valid, and if they work for me, that’s not such a bad thing. 

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

gotta be @alwaysxlarrie. I can always count on lauren to hype me up or help me brainstorm or get my creative gears turning or tell me if a sentence or moodboard looks weird or celebrate my accomplishments. and I love returning the favor! mutual brain furbies for life -- you the best! 

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: 

The “weird holiday traditions” in The Streetlights Are All Saying Your Name are both real traditions that my family had when I was growing up

I work in a pet store, and so for All Ewe Need Is Lamb, I used information and products and even photos from my work 

As I mentioned before, Do You Think The Tides Know is based on a really personal experience -- it’s not like 100% true to life, but the idea of dating someone while in love with someone else, and knowing that the relationship had an end date, but celebrating the happiness and fun and learning in the meantime -- that was real to me, and super meaningful. So grateful for everyone else who has connected to the fic as well!

And this is kind of the inverse and a slightly more spicy one, so look away if you don’t want to know, but. Writing for the @1dwatersportsficfest ultimately led to me telling my fiancée that I was into that. So. I guess that’s my writing showing up in my real life!

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: 

If you’re afraid of doing something because it feels out of your comfort zone or what you’re used to doing -- that’s where the growth is. Find people who encourage you to do it anyways, who make you feel excited to go there, who celebrate your achievements. It’s so much less scary with friends, and you’ll probably surprise yourself with how much you’re capable of.  

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

With the publication of my fic for the 1D Reverse Bang this week, I am officially finished all my current projects! Which isn’t to say I don’t have forgotten half-finished projects, but I don’t have anything I’m actively working on at the moment. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. What will I daydream about on the bus now???

I’m feeling called back to my Soft Established Relationship Vax’ilmore Fluff Series, so might write a couple of those next (then again, I said I’d do that last year, and that lasted about 8 days so. we’ll see). I’m also eyeing up some of the fests for this coming year (I need external motivation, it’s a problem) and @1dtourdeficfest @faithinthefutureficfest @1dastroficfest are all on my list of contenders.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

I’m not sure who all has already done this so apologies if I’m tagging someone who has already done it (or already been tagged a billion times), but: @alwaysxlarrie @haztobegood @zanniscaramouche @andfollowthesun @larry-hiatus @panye @littleroverlouis @beckydoesthings @finelinegynandromorph @paranormalbabydoll @thebreadvansstuff